she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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