I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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