Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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