all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize