xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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