Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
