fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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