omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
