from now on my penis is your penis
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize