hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
