According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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