what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've blown a few things in my day
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
