Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
