He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I need moral support for this bender
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
