Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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