She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
