mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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