it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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