My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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