Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And then he peed in my hair
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
