I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
