I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she smelled like a LAN party
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Found the puke drawer
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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