i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
