I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
