What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
