then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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