she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
