I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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