i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
