Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
