So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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