Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize