i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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