I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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