I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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