I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
