So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
