why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
