um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
