I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
