You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
