so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
