Can i not drive my cunt home
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
