no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
