my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
