I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he puts the penis in happiness.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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