So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
