I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize