Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
