drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
