Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
