I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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