it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
