we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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