I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this will be a night to untag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
