so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
