Who wears a wallet chain?!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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