Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
