All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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