i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
