I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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