she looked like the before picture.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
