I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no, he came in my armpit
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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