I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
